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Mr. Answer reserves the right to edit, mangle,
twist and otherwise distort perfectly legitimate questions
if the whim strikes. If you think you can do better,
write your own column, or better yet, send your thoughts
to:
mranswer@artdept.bizhosting.com
That way I can mock you in a future column.
Occasionally
I will also consent to answering relevant questions on the
use of Photoshop, Quark, prepress, the Macintosh and anything
else relating to the graphics trade.
Since this is
the first "Ask Mr. Answer" column I will be writing
both the questions and answers. I will always try to clearly
identify my "made-up" questions so everyone will
know whether I'm alienating real or fake people.
 Dear
Mr. Answer,
I'm
interviewing for a job as Art Director at an advertising
agency and they require experience in something called "Quark".
All I've ever used is Microsoft Word. What do you think
my chances are?
Signed, "Apprehensive"
Dear Apprehensive,
I'd say your chances are excellent! First of all, I have
to say Quark is really overrated, plus it's really hard
to learn. You can accomplish most everything you need to
do in a page layout just fine with "Word". Just
keep hitting the space bar and tab keys until everything
looks good. Simple, huh?
Plus
you mentioned you were interviewing for Art Director and
everyone knows that what that position REALLY requires is
a withering air of superiority and a masterful condescending
glance. Screw "Quark", get yourself a black silk
shirt and turquoise fingernail polish (unless you're a woman,
in which case it should be lime green fingernail polish).
Dear
Mr. Answer,
Why
do you mock and ridicule those of us with a legitimate desire
to learn and improve our skills?
Signed, "Curious"
Dear Curious,
Because I'm also seeking to improve my skills. I want to
be an Art Director at an advertising agency. All I need
now is a black silk shirt.
Dear
Mr. Answer,
What
is the difference between "aliasing" & "anti-aliasing"?
Signed, "Pixelated"
Dear Pixelated,
I'm glad you asked. Many people believe it has something
to do with typographic display, not so. It is a carefully
concealed plot to perpetuate the myth that smooth edges
on type and graphics are more attractive than the superior
graphics handling capability's of Windows 95 and a Hewlett
Packard PC. Savvy IT professionals looking for job security
all know the importance of integrating low cost PC's into
the graphic mainstream. Anti-aliasing, like manageable color
handling, is just more Mac fanatic hype designed to stave
off the perfectly acceptable mediocrity of Windows.
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